Big towsie-heided beastie,
There must be panic in thy breastie.
You first set out to make sensation
But noo yi hivtae run the nation.
It must hiv seemed a right good tear
To show the experts what went where;
It wis inspired but tempted fate
Tae tell ye’r pals they wid be great.
And when it came to building wa’s
You found an unco favourite cause;
The Muslims, too, you’ll send back hame,
Or make them sorry that they came.
You thought you’d lose a rigged election,
But man, you rigged it tae perfection.
About strict truth ye wer’nae fussy,
As long’s ye beat the Clinton hussy.
Four years from now we’ll aw recall,
You could’nae rin a market stall.
You’ll lead the free world with aplomb,
If ye keep yer finger aff the bomb.
While we wait for you tae cope,
The rest of us will sit and hope
That, while ye knock the shite aff ISIS
Ye manage to avoid a crisis.
Electioneering has occasions.
When ye need prognostications;
Just remember: ‘Please keep the heid
It’s still better to be red than deid.